Adolf Hitler seems to get knocked down more often than a Chumbawamba bop bag, but -- as the U.S. government and media gravely inform us -- he always bounces back, toppling ever stronger nations, conquering yet more territory and baking millions more Jews in ovens than ever before. Evidently immortal, this globe-trotting master of disguise has persisted in opposing American leaders now for more than half a century -- sometimes even without a moustache!

Now penniless after our frenzied Führer-collecting spree on eBay, the Infinite Jest is nevertheless proud to present more than a half century of America's persistent, seemingly ubiquitous nemesis in colorful trading card format.

We cannot fathom how he can disguise himself so effectively at each new stop, but since the U.S. Department of Hearts and Minds is so well practiced at identifying him and is so willing to do it for us, we've decided comprehension is overrated and will have no truck with it. Bring on the cards!