This is Saddam Hussein. He recently knocked over a third world country for fun, profit and national security. It was an immoral act of naked aggression. Color him an evil villain.

This is an executive. He works for an oil company. He is raking in the dough. Dough, dough, dough. He is gung ho for war. It will make him richer! Hooray for capitalism. It is the American way. The executive is a capitalist. He is a very rich one. The executive must be an American hero. Color him green like his money.

This is Mr. Smith. He is pissed off at the pump. His domestic car slurps down gasoline like Kool-Aid. Slurp, slurp, slurp. He is a good patriot -- he always buys American, and he's sending his son Billy off to fight for the American way. The American way is low prices at the pump! Color Mr. Smith red, white and blue.

This is Billy Smith. He is going off to war. Damn those Arabs! Americans have a right to cheap oil. But Billy doesn't want to die. He's having second thoughts now, but the Army won't let him out. Too late, Billy. Too bad. Billy doesn't vote. Color him ignorant.

This is Saddam Hussein with his two best friends. His best friends' names are Mr. Nervous and Bush Buster. Saddam's other friends won't speak to him. Did he offend them in some way? It doesn't matter. He doesn't need them. Mr. Nervous and Bush Buster are all he needs now. Color Mr. Nervous despicable.

This is Billy Smith again. He is wearing a gas suit. His Uncle Sam gave it to him. It is to protect him from Saddam's buddy Mr. Nervous. Billy's suit is older than he is. It is also leaky. Ssssh! Don't tell Billy that his suit leaks! He might stop trusting his Uncle. Color Billy dead meat.

This is George Bush. He recently knocked over a third world country for fun, profit and national security. It was a moral act of gentle peace. Color him a rationalizing hypocrite.

This is Dan Quayle. He is happy because he knows the Vice-President can't get drafted. This is all Dan knows. Now you know as much as the Vice-President. Do you feel powerful? No? Neither does Dan. Color Dan transparent. This is a camel. Camels spit at everything. Spit, spit, spit. The camel spits at Saddam. Ptooey. The camel spits at George. Ptooey. Color the camel enlightened.

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Looking Backward: Notes and observations, a decade later:

• The third world country knocked over by Saddam Hussein refers to Kuwait, invaded by Iraq in August 1990. This invasion led to the Persian Gulf War of 1991.
• The third world country knocked over by George H. W. Bush refers to Panama, invaded by the U.S. in December 1989. This invasion has been largely forgotten.
• Note the sheik garb on Saddam Hussein. While the invasion of Kuwait had taken place in August 1990, by December the university students who authored this piece were still unaware of his now-standard image as a man in a military uniform. Compare to 2001, when Osama bin Laden's portrait was known all throughout America mere days after September 11.
• While Saddam's personal military image had not yet been pervasively established by the media, the American press had widely disseminated the notion that his primary weapon of war would be poison gas. Hence the attention to the gas mask and Mr. Nervous. The press had built these up as grave, grave threats. Compare to threats of Iraqi chemical weapon use in 2002.
• The writer of this piece would later go on to co-found and edit the Infinite Jest. Color him bitter.

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