CROSS AFIRE:

America's Far-Right Debate Show!

Episode #7
Gay Marriage: A Modest Compromise

with Special Guest: Colin Powell!

• Cross Afire #17: How Liberal is John Kerry?
• Cross Afire #16: Spider-Man: Democrat or Republican?
• Cross Afire #15: Eulogy for George W. Bush, 2024 AD
• Cross Afire #14: Gated Communities at Home and Abroad
• Cross Afire #13: Brown Men in Prison: Welcome to Abu Ghraib!
• Cross Afire #12: I Don't See Dead People
• Cross Afire #11: Pat, You're Fired!
• Cross Afire #10: Mercenaries in Iraq: Pat Goes Commando
• Cross Afire #9: Unfinished Business: Franklin Roosevelt vs. Mexico
• Cross Afire #8: Voting for Kerry: A Vote for Terrorism?
• Cross Afire #7: Gay Marriage: A Modest Compromise
• Cross Afire #6: Pat and Jerry debate Gay Marriage
• Cross Afire #5: Rumsfeld Discovers Heller's Catch 22
• Cross Afire #4: Jerry Falwell On The Koran
• Cross Afire #3: Pledging Allegiance: The Geometry of God
• Cross Afire #2: Black Men In Prison: How Many Is Too Many? (guest: Jesse Helms!)
• Cross Afire #1: Donald Rumsfeld: American Hero?

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Pat Buchanan: Jerry, are you aware 36% of Americans favor fully equal gay marriage?

Jerry Falwell: I can't believe 36% of Americans are gay!

Pat: Inexplicably, some Americans vote to protect people other than themselves!

Jerry: Tell those Communists to go back to Russia!

Pat: Given the growing public support, we on the right may have to compromise. But we can't let a gay marriage equal a real marriage!

Jerry: No! It must be worth less!

Pat: But how much less?

Jerry: Good question! How much do interracial marriages count for?

Pat: Er, they're equal.

Jerry: What?!

Jerry: I think 3/5 would be more than generous! And with historic precedent!

Pat: Special guest Colin Powell, what do you think of our New Millennium Three-Fifths Compromise?

Colin Powell: [punches Jerry Fallwell in the jaw] Try again.

Jerry: Ow!!